cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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