i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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