Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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