Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
