You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
