Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
