everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
