I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
