this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
