Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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