i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
