i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
