That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
