Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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