It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
