as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she pinky promised me she was 18
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
