fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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