Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
