I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
