My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Sext me about skeletons
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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