he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
