just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
