it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
