its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
