Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
