My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
