would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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