either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
