Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Be still, my beating vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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