Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
