"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
