I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
