when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
