I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
