But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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