Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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