i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
