Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
