I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize