And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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