i was born a porn star she said
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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