so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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