I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
