No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dignity is for republicans.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
