I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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