garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
