I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
