I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize