Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
