I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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