Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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