I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
