I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
