We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
